bull
Anyways, there were these two cousins, one from Cavan (he's
a bit thick) and the other from Monaghan (he isn't). And the two inherit the
family farm. It's not a bad farm, but unfortunately, after just a few years,
they are in dire financial straits. In order to keep the bank from repossessing
the farm, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The Monaghan cousin balances their chequebook, then takes their last 600 quid
out to another farm, way down in the Midlands, where a man has a prize bull
for sale. Upon leaving, he tells his cousin "When I get there, if I decide
to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The Monaghan fella arrives at the man's farm, inspects the bull, and decides
he wants to buy it there and then. The bull's owner says he can sell it for3599,
nothing more but nothing less. After paying him, the Monaghan guy drives to
the nearest town to send his cousin a telegram to tell him the news. He walks
into the post office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my cousin
telling him that I've bought a great bull for our farm. I need him to hitch
the farmyard trailer up to our van and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator in the post office explains that he'll be glad to help,
then adds, "No problem, it's just 11 shillings a word." Well, after
paying for the bull, the Monaghan man only has 31p left. What can he do? He
realises that he'll only be able to send his cousin one bloody word. After
thinking for a minute or two, he nods, and says, "I want you to send
him just one word - the word 'comfortable'." The man behind the counter
shakes his head. "How the hell is he ever going to know that you want
him to hitch the trailer to the back of your van and drive out all the way
to here in the Midlands to haul that bull back to your farm if you send him
the word 'comfortable'?" The Monaghan man explains: "My cousin's
from Cavan. He'll read it dead slow." back
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